By IvicaS 
How I Earned Trust and Respect in Thailand (And Didn't Get Chased by Monks)
Q: How can foreigners earn trust and respect in Thailand?
A: Be polite, use the wai greeting, speak calmly, show interest in Thai culture and religion, avoid public displays of anger, and demonstrate humility and respect.
Living in Thailand has been a rollercoaster of flavors, smiles, and tiny cultural traps that I almost fell into face-first. But after some well-timed apologies, a lot of quiet observing, and a few embarrassing missteps (I’ll get to the temple story), I started to feel not just like a visitor, but like a welcomed guest – like a distant cousin in a very warm, spicy family.
So here’s my story, plus a guide for fellow wanderers who want to earn not just tourist snapshots but genuine respect and trust from Thai locals.
1. Mastering the Wai (Without Looking Like a Chicken)
Let’s start with the basics: the wai. It’s not just a greeting – it’s a whole mood.
The wai involves pressing your palms together in a prayer-like fashion and slightly bowing your head. Sounds simple, right? Until you realize there are levels to this game.
- To monks or elders: Hands at forehead level.
- To equals: Nose level.
- To kids or service staff: Return their wai if they initiate it. You don’t need to start it.
I once wai’d a convenience store clerk so deeply that I almost headbutted the counter. Learn from me: calm, respectful, and measured is better than enthusiastic but weird.
2. Speak Softly and Carry No Ego
Q: Is speaking loudly considered rude in Thailand?
A: Yes. Thais appreciate calm and soft-spoken communication. Loudness is often seen as aggressive or disrespectful.
I grew up in a place where volume = confidence. In Thailand, volume = red flag.
Thai people respect emotional restraint. Shouting or being loud in public (especially in frustration) makes you stand out – and not in a good way. If you speak softly and keep your cool, you’re already 50% on your way to Thai-style respect.
3. Why Losing Your Temper Is Basically Cultural Suicide
A moment of rage? In Thailand, that’s social self-sabotage. I saw a tourist scream at a street vendor over ten baht. Locals watched in stunned silence. The vendor simply walked away.
Showing anger is called “เสียหน้า” (sǐa nâa), or “losing face.” It’s not just frowned upon – it’s culturally clumsy. Maintaining jai yen (cool heart) earns admiration.
Pro tip: Smile. Even if your tuk-tuk driver takes the scenic route to Chiang Rai.
4. Get Curious About Their Culture (Without Being Creepy)
Q: How can I show respect for Thai culture?
A: Ask questions, try local food, visit temples respectfully, learn a few Thai phrases, and understand key customs like removing shoes before entering homes.
I started asking questions about festivals, food, and local history. I tried speaking Thai – even if my tones were off and I probably said “I am a banana” instead of “I am happy.” But people appreciated the effort.
I was invited to a new monk initiation ceremony, temple fairs, and even a neighbor’s family dinner. All because I was genuinely interested.
5. Temples: Where Your Respect Is Measured by Footwear
If you walk into a temple with your shoes on, expect your karma to drop faster than Bangkok traffic in monsoon season.
Always:
- Take off shoes.
- Dress modestly (cover shoulders and knees).
- Don’t point your feet at Buddha statues.
- Don’t touch monks if you’re a woman.
Funny story: I once sat in front of a monk on a songthaew and unknowingly pointed my big, farang feet right at him. He didn’t scold me – but a nearby granny whacked me gently with a newspaper and gave me a look that translated to: “Get your life together.”
6. Learn the Language—or at Least the Magic Words
Even a few Thai phrases go a long way:
- Sawasdee krub/ka – Hello
- Khop khun krub/ka – Thank you
- Mai pen rai – It’s okay / No problem (and a life motto)
The magic lies not in perfect pronunciation, but in trying. One fruit seller gave me free pineapple because I said “delicious” with such delight and such bad grammar.
7. The Thai Smile: Weapon of Mass Connection
Thailand isn’t called the “Land of Smiles” by accident. Smiling is a social lubricant here.
There’s a smile for:
- Politeness
- Apology
- Confusion
- “I have no idea what you just said but I support you spiritually”
When you smile back, genuinely, you’re playing the right game.
8. Be Humble, Not a Know-it-All
Q: Do Thais value humility in foreigners?
A: Absolutely. Arrogance is seen as disrespectful. Thais appreciate modesty, open-mindedness, and the willingness to learn.
Once, I overheard a backpacker bragging about “teaching locals how to cook their own food better.” Really?
Humility = open doors. Arrogance = slammed shutters.
9. Respect the Royal Family, Seriously
It’s illegal and deeply offensive to insult the Thai royal family. Don’t joke, speculate, or even vaguely imply criticism. Even stepping on money (which has the King’s face) is a no-go.
When the national anthem plays – at 8 am and 6 pm in public spaces – stop and stand respectfully. Yes, even in the middle of your bubble tea order.
10. Dress the Part (Leave the Tank Tops for the Islands)
Urban Thais dress modestly and neatly. Flip-flops and tank tops are fine at the beach, not at a temple or city mall.
When I ditched the stained T-shirt and put on a clean polo and long pants, I suddenly got treated differently: better service, more smiles, and fewer raised eyebrows.
11. Food Etiquette: Don’t Lick Your Fingers
Thais eat with a spoon and fork. The fork is for pushing, not shoveling. Eating with your hands (unless it’s sticky rice in Isaan) can seem impolite.
Slurping is okay for noodles but licking fingers is frowned upon. I learned this the hard way – with spicy sauce all over my hand and an amused granny shaking her head.
12. Give More Than You Take
Volunteer, help clean up, offer your seat to elders. Giving without expectation builds serious community credit.
I helped sweep the street outside a temple during a cleanup day. Two weeks later, a fruit vendor gave me a free mango and called me “jai dee” (good heart). Worth it.
13. The Reputation of Your Passport Follows You
Let’s talk real for a second. Some travelers – particularly from the U.S., U.K., Australia, and Russia – have earned a bit of a reputation for loud behavior, disrespect, or entitlement. Of course, not everyone fits that mold, but the stereotype exists for a reason.
I’ve seen drunk Brits causing scenes in bars, Americans demanding things loudly like they’re still in Kansas, Aussies shirtless at temple gates, and Russians barking orders at vendors like they’re giving military commands. It makes locals uncomfortable and, honestly, it reflects poorly on all of us foreigners.
If you’re from one of these countries, leave the pride and volume at home. You’re in someone else’s country – adjust your frequency, not theirs. Adapting to local culture isn’t losing yourself; it’s showing basic respect. Plus, you’ll get way more smiles and fewer awkward stares.
Final Thoughts: Earning a Place, Not Just a Visa Stamp
Q: What’s the key to being respected in Thailand?
A: Be genuinely respectful, learn cultural nuances, show humility, and contribute positively to the community.
Thailand gave me more than spicy curry and Instagram sunsets. It gave me a second home. When locals started calling me by a nickname and asking me to join family meals, I knew I had done something right.
If you walk in with an open heart, quiet voice, wide eyes, and willing hands, you’ll go far in Thailand. Maybe even as far as free pineapple for life.
Have you had similar experiences in Thailand or any culture where respect changed everything? Share your story in the comments below!
If you found this guide useful (or at least mildly entertaining), share it with fellow travelers on social media. Let’s all earn our place – one wai at a time.